It was the last Strollers game of the season. Shawn was picking the team, and I started complaining that I wasn’t playing, because I had missed a lot of the season with an injury.
He took me to one side and told me in no uncertain terms that he was pissed off with me moaning, and what I needed to do the next season was x, y and z (can’t remember what x, y and z were).
This lecture took up the whole match so I missed it all. When the lads came back in, he was saying to me, ‘Make sure congratulate them all for their efforts – it will be emotional though.’ As the team came back in, led by Callum, Shawn looked at me as it to say, ‘go on then’. And so I congratulated Callum by giving him a big bear hug.
When I went to get dressed i found that the lads had written a load of stuff with a berol marker on my jeans. Bastards. I tried to wipe it off but to no avail. I also tried to wash it off, but still nothing.
On the way home (we were playing in manchester for some reason) I met a girl on the tube, who started talking to me. She got off at the same stop (which was Kelfield, a little villiage near York) and we walked down the main street and we went for a drink in a pub called the Dragon – it was old school with dark wood bar and tables, and patchy worn carpet.
I asked for a coke (I don’t even drink coke) and she brought the drinks back, but there was a bit of confusion over which was my coke and which was here bitter (which is not a good sign of how good their bitter is, is it?)
Once we had sorted that out, she asked me if I would go out with her again. I replied, ‘I have a girlfriend, but we can still see each other’.
At this point she got really cross with me and told me to fuck off. I walked round the corner into the other bit of the pub, to find Elena from News designers starting at me, giving me evils you would not believe.
I went to say hello to her and find out what was wrong, and she said that she had heard my conversation with the girl and was disgusted that I would encourage some girl by telling her that dispite the fact i had a girlfriend we could still see each other.
I explained to her that I didn’t mean it like that, and that I actually meant me and the lass could be friends, but nothing more.
Anyway, she came round, and we had a chat, and then I realised that the 3 portofolios that I was carrying were empty. The work and the sleeves were gone.
I raced round the corner to find a bin by the table the girl was sat on stuffed full of my work. The bitch – she had thrown it all away and ripped some of it up. It all had like tomatoe sauce on it and crisp bits, with a bit of beer stain thrown in for good measure.
At this point it gets a bit hazy, but the girl was telling me why she had done it, and I made her feel guilty by saying something (can’t remember what).
Last thing I remember was walking through the village cursing her and crying about my lost work.